I have come to the conclusion that you can't move fully and successfully forward without releasing your grip on the past. I have this vision of myself hanging between two ropes and not moving forward or backward because I don't want to let go of either. It is that visualization that made me realize it is time to move on.

I am in the process of winding down my web design/development business and releasing that grip is a little scary. I have spent many years working hard to cultivate strong business relationships and a successful business and it is hard to release the known to move on into the unknown.

For a while I thought about the prospect of continuing my existing business while starting the non-profit HeART Touch Outreach and all the while trying to feed my passion for my art. You can't be a slave to two masters and in the end my art always was the one to suffer. Why was I putting aside my passion for something that was ultimately just a paycheck and not my true calling? I'm not the type of person who dreams in coding languages...though it would sometimes keep me up at night. I am an artist...an artist who happened to be good at writing code too...yet still down to the core an artist.

So now the time has come. Our goal is to have the tax legalities filed and approved so we can move forward by Mother's Day. That being said, I am in the process of finishing up my current obligations with existing clients and will be notifying others of the changes. I am finding it hard to say no to those I have worked hard to help make their business efforts successful. I just need to keep in mind that it is now my turn to make my dreams a success too.

My son and his Dad were outside building a family of snowmen when all of the sudden there was a knock at the back door. My little master snowman builder had a mitten full of dead echinacea flower seed heads in his hand and wanted me to open the door... "I picked these for you." My heart melted.

For the longest time I have been searching for a way to make a difference with my artistic talents. I feel everyone has a unique contribution to give through their talents and for me identifying what that was has been a long, soul-searching journey. It wasn't enough to just have that inner-longing and passion to create. I wanted it to make a difference in the lives of others. Through a series of events, including the honor of completing a portrait for a woman whose sister passed away during the process of completing the drawing of her, I came to realize the unbelievable joy it gave me to give such a unique and special memory. I seem to have a heart that overflows with compassion for the hurting and this really felt like a blessing to do this for her.

Because of this intense desire to reach out to those in need, my husband and I have decided to start a non-profit that works through grief support groups for parents who have lost a child (or are close to losing theirs) to provide these grieving parents with a gift of a drawing/portrait of their child. The name we have selected for the non-profit is HeART Touch Outreach. We have filed a trademark/service mark application for the name and articles of incorporation with the State of Illinois. We are currently drafting bylaws, have secured the URLs and have a draft of a logo started. It is a great labor of love and we can't wait to get up and running with it.

I know that I am but one person and will probably only be able to deliver about 12-15 of these drawing gifts a year, along with doing my commissioned portraits, but I want to be used by God for a higher good to make the world a better place in my own small way. If everyone used their unique, God-given talents to do just a little to help those in need, imagine the possibilities...

One day, an old man was walking along the beach in the early morning and noticed what appeared to be thousands of starfish washed up on the shore. Up ahead in the distance, he spotted a boy who appeared to be gathering up the starfish and tossing them, one by one, back into the ocean. Overwhelmed by the sheer multitude of the suffering creatures, the old man just stood and watched as the boy picked up another starfish, and yet another, releasing them in the healing safety of the cool green water.

Finally, he approached the boy and asked him why he spent so much energy doing what seemed to be a waste of time. The boy replied, "If these starfish are left out here like this, they will bake in the sun, and by this afternoon all of them will be dead." The old man gazed out as far as he could see and responded, "But, there must be hundreds of miles of beach and thousands of starfish. You can't possibly rescue all of them. What difference is throwing a few back going to make, anyway?"

The boy then held up the starfish he had in his hand and threw it to safety in the waves and replied, "It made a difference to that one!"

My son loves bugs. What boy doesn't. We have been watching some cool stuff on animal planet and they really are amazing, gross and outright brutal. Did you know that when a fly lands on your food it vomits on it before it sucks it up through it's strawlike mouth...like I said gross stuff.

This morning we were reading an insect book and I was captivated by the details and colors of these tiny creatures. Needless to say, as soon as I dropped the boy off at school I grabbed my sketchbook and started drawing. Too bad the library book goes back by Friday. I might just have to visit a book store and get a bug book of my own.

"Art, like play, helps children to understand their world. But art goes beyond play, enabling them to express their personal experiences and fantasies in a way that are concrete and compelling, even when they are unable to articulate the events in words."
— The Art of Teaching Art to Children

I am facinated with children's artistic development and creativity. I recently did a career day demonstation to a class of young children. As much as the thought of a large group of small children outnumbering me makes me shake in my shoes far more than a business presentation in front of a meeting of executives, I did it anyhow. I did it because I want children to understand that art is a real career and something that can be taken seriously. Even if a child doesn't necessarily have an interest in the arts, I do feel it is critical to their development and it is sad that so little serious attention is given to it in school anymore.

I have too often heard growing up that I had better have a backup plan. Or make sure to study something more practical such as graphic design. As much as I am the free-spirited artist there is a small part of me that took that advice and though I did go to art school, I studied design as well as fine arts. Honestly, I regret that choice. You can't squelch a fire that is burning deep within a person's entire being. If only I had someone who supported me and told me to go for it. Even my high school art teacher, as inspiring and supportive as he was pushed me in the direction of the graphic arts.

While I have been successful at keeping a dual existence of fine artist-commercial artist, it does make a person feel torn in two directions. This new decade is going to be a new direction for me and I am really looking forward to it.

Lastly, to all the little budding artists out there, go for it... I'm planning on taking my own advice too.

Recently my son has entered a new phase of development in his drawing. He has started to copy the way I sit and sketch and it is adorable. Instead of drawing from his imagination, he actually sits and draws his surroundings. I tend to be very sketchy when I am doing quick sketches from life and he even imitates that with his line work. I love watching kids draw and seeing their mind and imagination working. I am looking forward to many more sketch outings with my boy.

Decided to tackle a self portrait. My son is so sweet, he wants to hang it in his room when it's done.

A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What one can be, one must be.

—Abraham Maslow

Just returned from sunny Florida to the snowy cold midwest winter. I was able to spend one morning by the pool sketching in the beautiful sunny weather.

It's that time of year again. A time of reflection and of anticipation of the future coming year. I always wonder why people wait until a whole year goes by to regroup and take a fresh look at their life. I tend to get caught up in that thought process too. Maybe it is the daunting process of preparing for taxes that forces me to think that way.

If you think about it though, isn't every day a fresh new start. A gift of a new day with new opportunities. This year as every year I am making my plans on what I would like to accomplish artistically but one of the things I am vowing to do is to stop letting the "Someday Syndrome" rob me of today. I am going to enjoy the artistic process new each day and not worry about where it will take me someday.

When I stand before God at the end of my life,
I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left,
and could say, "I used everything you gave me."
— Erma Bombeck

This image is one of my all time favorite sketches of mine. My husband and I fondly refer to our son as "The Boy". The Boy has his special bear that has been with him since the day he was born. "Bear" has now been replaced with Star Wars and Nintendo DS. Time goes by so fast and this picture will always be special to me.

Welcome to my sketchbook blog. I look forward to sharing my sketchbook sketches, what's possibly on the drawing board at the moment as well as what is inspiring me as an artist. I hope you come visit often.