I have come to the conclusion that you can't move fully and successfully forward without releasing your grip on the past. I have this vision of myself hanging between two ropes and not moving forward or backward because I don't want to let go of either. It is that visualization that made me realize it is time to move on.

I am in the process of winding down my web design/development business and releasing that grip is a little scary. I have spent many years working hard to cultivate strong business relationships and a successful business and it is hard to release the known to move on into the unknown.

For a while I thought about the prospect of continuing my existing business while starting the non-profit HeART Touch Outreach and all the while trying to feed my passion for my art. You can't be a slave to two masters and in the end my art always was the one to suffer. Why was I putting aside my passion for something that was ultimately just a paycheck and not my true calling? I'm not the type of person who dreams in coding languages...though it would sometimes keep me up at night. I am an artist...an artist who happened to be good at writing code too...yet still down to the core an artist.

So now the time has come. Our goal is to have the tax legalities filed and approved so we can move forward by Mother's Day. That being said, I am in the process of finishing up my current obligations with existing clients and will be notifying others of the changes. I am finding it hard to say no to those I have worked hard to help make their business efforts successful. I just need to keep in mind that it is now my turn to make my dreams a success too.

For the longest time I have been searching for a way to make a difference with my artistic talents. I feel everyone has a unique contribution to give through their talents and for me identifying what that was has been a long, soul-searching journey. It wasn't enough to just have that inner-longing and passion to create. I wanted it to make a difference in the lives of others. Through a series of events, including the honor of completing a portrait for a woman whose sister passed away during the process of completing the drawing of her, I came to realize the unbelievable joy it gave me to give such a unique and special memory. I seem to have a heart that overflows with compassion for the hurting and this really felt like a blessing to do this for her.

Because of this intense desire to reach out to those in need, my husband and I have decided to start a non-profit that works through grief support groups for parents who have lost a child (or are close to losing theirs) to provide these grieving parents with a gift of a drawing/portrait of their child. The name we have selected for the non-profit is HeART Touch Outreach. We have filed a trademark/service mark application for the name and articles of incorporation with the State of Illinois. We are currently drafting bylaws, have secured the URLs and have a draft of a logo started. It is a great labor of love and we can't wait to get up and running with it.

I know that I am but one person and will probably only be able to deliver about 12-15 of these drawing gifts a year, along with doing my commissioned portraits, but I want to be used by God for a higher good to make the world a better place in my own small way. If everyone used their unique, God-given talents to do just a little to help those in need, imagine the possibilities...

One day, an old man was walking along the beach in the early morning and noticed what appeared to be thousands of starfish washed up on the shore. Up ahead in the distance, he spotted a boy who appeared to be gathering up the starfish and tossing them, one by one, back into the ocean. Overwhelmed by the sheer multitude of the suffering creatures, the old man just stood and watched as the boy picked up another starfish, and yet another, releasing them in the healing safety of the cool green water.

Finally, he approached the boy and asked him why he spent so much energy doing what seemed to be a waste of time. The boy replied, "If these starfish are left out here like this, they will bake in the sun, and by this afternoon all of them will be dead." The old man gazed out as far as he could see and responded, "But, there must be hundreds of miles of beach and thousands of starfish. You can't possibly rescue all of them. What difference is throwing a few back going to make, anyway?"

The boy then held up the starfish he had in his hand and threw it to safety in the waves and replied, "It made a difference to that one!"